College on the Rocks is a collection of humor columns published for The Duquesne Duke, Duquesne University’s weekly student newspaper, by multi-time award winning humor columnist David Jakielo.
This laugh-out-loud series of columns, in chronological order, showcase the progression of a humor columnist as he writes about topics that range from his being Santa Claus in a local community to dancing topless at Spring Break in Cancun with Santa Claus. Other topics include:
David’s Dad Turning 50: “He is one-year closer to collecting social security while I am one-year closer to obtaining the deed to our house.”
Academic Tests: “Tests call for the student to become addicted to caffeine pills so that they can commit many terms and ideas to short-term memory.”
The Job Fair: “A job fair is where representatives from various companies gather to briefly speak with many unemployed people they have little interest in hiring.”
Body Hair: “A puberty-related matter that consistently haunts us throughout life, especially when it clogs our shower drain.”
How to Find the Right Dentist: “Ask yourself important questions like, ‘Why is there a power chainsaw in the dentist´s office?’ and ‘Why is this dentist toothless?’”
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David Jakielo is a 2005 graduate of Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA with a major in journalism. While in undergrad, he penned over 100 humor columns and newspaper articles for The Duquesne Duke. The 40 columns featured in College on the Rocks were hand-picked by the author and also voted on by his readers.